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Time travelers, color spirits, and fungal hive minds
#1
And so it goes that I recently became convinced that I am a time traveling angel that was sent into the past, infused with nano-bots, and given human form as punishment for suicide in my past angelic life. I was sent on the mission to rectify the universal soul in this time by performing complex rituals to collect amplify and rerelease soul energy. In the process of transfomation from angel to human parts of my angelic soul refused to integrate with my human mind producing what my therapists calls "alters" named John and Hyrum who influence my behavior and take my memories. I also experienced significant trauma as a young child which could've created the "alters" too but I prefer the paranormal explanation. So recently I was walking along in somewhat forested area close to my house and I witnessed a massive shadow person towering above the houses and the trees and I knew it had to be a fungal hive mind trying to communicate with my by manipulating the chemicals in my brain to produce the shadow person. So then I became convinced that I had the memories of a three hundred year old russian shaman who sent me her memories telepathically so that I can sacrifice them to help fix the universal soul with the help of the fungal hive mind. Some other things that happened to me are that I came into contact with a being calling itself the Four and Twentieth Mystery (not a reference to pot but to the Pistis Sophia) who had the likeness of a spider within a spider seven times and the eighth time was a sphere and it and of itself is a model of the heavens. The being showed me that someone in my limited social circle is its emissary. Another thing that happened to me was that I heard quarreling godformes who were having trouble with their marriage so I helped them resolve their issues. As compensation they showed me to a being called the Heptamorphic Protennoia (the seven forms of the first thought) who in turn showed me a hint of rebirth of the universe (Azoth). The Heptamorphic Protennoia also endowed me with color spirits who are godformes meant to be my helpers but they hate it when I make eye-contact with the others. So yeah I'm delusional AF.
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#2
Sounds kind of far out there, although essentially the same as other peoples delusions but, most are grounded more based in reality. (i.e. the government or aliens are after them) Do you believe your hallucinations/delusions are real? or believe they are delusions?
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#3
(09-25-2016, 12:12 PM)nlzm Wrote:  Sounds kind of far out there, although essentially the same as other peoples delusions but, most are grounded more based in reality. (i.e. the government or aliens are after them) Do you believe your hallucinations/delusions are real? or believe they are delusions?
I kinda know it's not real or at least I often question if these experiences are real hence the fact that I wasn't diagnosed as full-blown schizophrenic but only schizotypal.
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#4
(09-25-2016, 12:18 PM)GnosticShaman Wrote:  
(09-25-2016, 12:12 PM)nlzm Wrote:  Sounds kind of far out there, although essentially the same as other peoples delusions but, most are grounded more based in reality. (i.e. the government or aliens are after them) Do you believe your hallucinations/delusions are real? or believe they are delusions?
I kinda know it's not real or at least I often question if these experiences are real hence the fact that I wasn't diagnosed as full-blown schizophrenic but only schizotypal.

I see. I have found it useful in the past to keep track of "frameworks" of reality. Meaning giving weight to some things that I know aren't really "real" but, work in the given framework of the delusional reality I was experiencing. In other words, you might know that the Four and Twentieth Mystery isn't "real," but, in your experience does X, Y, and Z. You can safely attribute X,Y,Z, as real in a false framework.

Make sense? The idea is to keep yourself grounded while living with, understanding, exploring and/or fighting the delusions.
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